The Bedroom

lame dream

2011-07-26T16:37:00.001-07:00

I dreamt last night that my friend flicked a cigarette butt on some dry grass and it burst into flame, I ran for a bucket of water & on my way back I got lost and couldn't get back to the fire, men kept stopping me & harassing me and I awoke with this terrible pressing urgency eating away at my heart.

The camera

2011-05-04T12:27:00.000-07:00

This dream was very strange. I was rushing through my grandmother's house and looking to use the shower before leaving to teach my bellydance class. The rooms were all being destroyed by my uncles, aunts, and cousins- they were ripping off the wallpaper, tearing up the carpets, unscrewing closet doors... chaos... I trying so very hard not to show my outrage and just smile and move on.
Then I went into her bedroom: it was completely re-done. Everything new- but not at all as a grandmother's bedroom "should" be. It was a huge room open to the sky, made from these rough cut cement blocks that looked like they were sealed in some white iridescent sealer. Very modern, minimalist, and rail-less stairs in two directions leading up to a bathroom, crossing eachother, playing a trick on the eyes of being wavy. I turned around and around and thought- "this is not a bedroom, this looks like a prison". I could not deny it was beautiful but not for what it was supposed to be. I was disturbed. For some reason I felt the need to take a photo of it on my camera phone. But when I took the photo and looked at how it turned out- there was this beautiful Tabora-esque vista of the coastline on my phone. "what?!"
I looked up to see where that view was, that I didn't see it when I looked through the view finder.
I couldn't see it- just a gray misty blank page of a sky beyond the cement block walls.
I tried again to take a photo of what I was seeing.
Again, on my phone there was the most gorgeous pink and orange pastel sunset, surreal and serene.
I could not see what the phone saw with my naked eyes.
"The flash must be cutting through the mist and capturing what is behind it somehow" I figured
But then I had to rush off to class without a shower because I wasted too much time and would be late- Scarlet Johansen was my student and I didn't want to keep her waiting. (???? yeah, I know, right?)

It was like I couldn't see the beauty right in front of me- because I was so upset that it wasn't the way I wanted it, that it had changed from what I thought it should be, I couldn't appreciate how breathtaking the view truly was- I was completely blind to reality. *sigh* What a lesson.

You know in that movie Inception with Leonardo DiCaprio how just one small idea changes everything and completely drives his wife's life. I feel like I keep waiting for that one small idea- that idea that is going to change everything and make me live my life with focus & drive & motivate me to "make it Happen". I don't why or when or how I think this will happen but I keep feeling like something out there will make all the difference and once I unlock what that is- it will all make perfect sense and I won't be able to NOT live in accordance to that revelation. I know this is kind of vague- but it IS vague- it is this feeling I have.

The Realtor & the Arcade

2010-10-06T10:45:00.000-07:00

I had a dream that my friend Deyl was a realtor trying to sell me a "house" that was an arcade machine, when we punched through the coin panel it opened up into this huge dance space... the dance floor had a giant tree etched into the wood- it was really beautiful. And even though the etching was a line drawing I reached down and picked big pink peonies from it's branches that were real flowers in my hands. I went into the Vernada-esque living room filled to the gills with people and gave another woman one of my peonies because it was her birthday too- on the same day as mine.
Which isn't common- many people share my birthday- even a woman named Stephanie Bolton- NO JOKE! Can you believe that someone with the same name, same spelling, as me shares my birthday as well? That is pretty remarkable.

The Chocolate Dream

2010-07-02T18:00:00.001-07:00

In this dream I go to a cold area of the island, Waimea, and the biting cold forces me into a warm little chocolate store. There are tons of beautiful, decadent, creative chocolate goodies. I start trying them. Dark chocolate, white chocolate, coffee chocolate, truffles, molded chocolates, chili pepper, raspberry, so many varieties and shapes and styles- the strangest part is this.... even though I am totally gorging on all these delicious rich tasty chocolates... I don't get at all sick.

I get to enjoy them without any pain.

It might have something to do with my current painting project. Making these portraits of dancers is like splurging on candy for me- so delightful- such a treat.... but how often are we allowed to enjoy things so much with no consequences? Aren't there usually drawbacks? Compromises that have to be made in order to deserve our sweets?

Maybe it is just the position of the moon that inspired that dream, hehe. Who knows?

But it was a very SWEET dream.

I had a dream that I have had before

2009-11-02T12:45:00.000-08:00

I am sitting on the edge of bed and I notice my back is peeling. As I brush away some of the flaking skin with my hand I look over my shoulder and see in the reflection of the mirror that on my back, beneath the peeling skin, is a fresco being revealed.

Salmon coral

2009-09-29T11:08:00.000-07:00

I had a dream that I was opening up my paints & every block of watercolor pigment was a salmon coral color... I got frantic and opened my acrylic tubes... no matter color was on the outside of the tube only salmon coral poured out.
the colored pencils, the pens, the oils... everything.
I only had one color to work with in any medium.

What a nightmare.

creepy Djinn!

2009-06-01T13:06:00.000-07:00

I have been reading an interesting book that combines lots of my interests

nonfiction, travel, religion, bellydancing, & character sketches

It is an excellent book about a woman who is living in 5 different Islamic countries for 40 days in each place to try and understand their culture & religion and it is really interesting...

But last night I read something in there, it was just what one man in Egypt said about the Djinn and it gave me a creepy nightmare.

he said that a woman was looking after him after he fainted and that her eyes opened, instead of the lids splitting on a horizontal plane- they split on a vertical plane and she said to "Stay away from us." and he knew he had pierced into the spiritual world of the Djinn.

(which are basically like the Arabic version of angels- some are good and some are bad).

Well the image in my dream was of this heavily garbed woman many layers of fabric and when she opened her eyes not only did they open the wrong way but they were completely black as well.

I can't believe such a non-scary book could give me such a creepy nightmare. spooky!

I guess you have to be careful what you read before bed.

Vandalism & Showers

2009-05-19T14:55:00.000-07:00

In my dream, I had made two very large paintings: two women in flowy dresses that were not in color. Someone had suggested I add color and I replied "That might be nice but I don't have time, the exhibition is tomorrow and adding color would take a long time."
That night I see the paintings outside and some people who I had allowed to help me had foolishly tried to add color without my permission. I was furious because now I HAD to add the color and I didn't have the time. I kept feeling like I should get to work on it so I could get them done in time but delay after delay prevented me from just getting to work... soon I realized that I needed to get ready for the exhibition. I needed to take a shower and get dressed.
The house I was in was huge and, as is often the case in my dreams, the house had many additional secret rooms. I felt tricky because I knew of these other rooms, so despite the fact that all of the obvious showers were already occupied... I felt sure I could get a shower without having to wait. Each "secret" bathroom that I located was already occupied... I must have crept through a dozen different passageways and every time I thought I had found a place to shower; someone else was already taking one there.
I knew I would never have enough time to finish my paintings for the exhibition at this rate.

It was a really bizarre dream.

hahaha.... but aren't they all?

Cell Phone Dream

2009-05-15T20:36:00.000-07:00

In my dream, I kept trying to call my husband on my cell phone but each time I tried to dial the familiar number, I kept fumbling with the buttons... getting it wrong each time I tried. I was getting sooo agrivated. I spent way too long dialing and redialing, each time dialing it wrong. I couldn't understand why it was so difficult for me to dial a number I had dialed a million times before.
I couldn't reach him and there was no one or nothing to blame; it was my own inability standing in my way- truly frustrating.

The Belly Dancer Bookstore

2009-04-01T11:24:00.000-07:00

I walked into this bookstore, rounded a corner and was excited to find a book staring out at me with a vintage belly dancer on the cover. It was some kind of memior of a dancer from the 1930's... then I noticed that the book beside it had a similar cover (old sepia dancer on the cover) and the next another... finally I backed up and saw that the entire shelf was loaded with nothing but bellydancing books... the overwhelming joy!

I probably had this dream because recently I found a book club for belly dancers. I am really excited because I tried to start a little belly dancing book club like this on shelfari.com but didn't get very much participation. It is so nice to be able to hop into something and not have to be the one organizing it. Because the goal is to learn something afterall, and I am really tired of having no instruction. In yoga tradition, they say when you are ready, a teacher will come... maybe I am ready?

Blame it on the ceiling

2009-03-26T11:45:00.000-07:00

I had this dream of someone standing over me with an umbrella... when I woke up the shape of the umbrella that I saw was the same as my ceiling...

This isn't the best photo of my ceiling but you can kind of see how the octagon shape is reinforced by collar ties and beams- kind of like the structural elements of an umbrella.

I don't suppose dreams of this nature mean anything- it was probably the last thing I saw before I went to sleep. But all the same- there is something reassuring about the thought of some giant person standing over me with an umbrella while I'm sleeping.

Don't you think?

Eagle Dream

2009-01-24T17:39:00.000-08:00

This dream is strange. I am in a car and up ahead in another car I see a bird sitting on something outside the window. Somehow I recognize that it is a very expensive and rare animal belonging to a very prestigous and wealthy couple (not sure how I know this but...)
Then I see high up in the sky this huge bald eagle and instantly a fear drives into my heart as I instinctually know that this eagle is going to harm the pet bird.
Sure enough the eagle sees the smaller bird (which is also a large bird, just not as large as the eagle) and swoops down to attack it.
So fast I don't recall getting out of the car I am in, I find myself over the huge eagle with my hand around its throat terrified that it is going to hurt me but determined to protect the valuable pet. I beat the eagle till it finally departs.

...yeah, no idea about what could have triggered this one.

The Ferris Wheel

2009-01-15T12:43:00.000-08:00

Lately my dreams have been beginning on the hugest Ferris wheel ever built, that same Ferris wheel that was the first ever created nestled at the grounds of the White City. The one built by Mr. Ferris himself for the Chicago World Fair of the late 1800s. The World Fair supposedly responsible for bringing Nation-wide fame to the dancer known as Little Egypt.

So if you can't tell I have been reading Looking for Little Egypt before I have been going to bed but it is a fascinating book that goes into such great detail about this place in time that it gives me the most vivid dreams of actually being there. My brain continues the search long after I close the book and fabricates a different conclusion to the mystery every night.

It would make the most luscious vintage screenplay- I'm tempted to write it!

Treacherous Path

2008-12-26T18:01:00.000-08:00

Last night I had this dream that I was riding a horse along a train track treacherously close to the edge of a cliff. I could hear the ocean lapping the rocks far below. The cliff began to crumble and break away beneath the weight of my horse's hooves. The horse stumbled and rocks pattered down into the water. I struggled trying to keep my horse on the tracks terrified we would fall.
It did seem like a reckless path to choose when beyond the tracks were wide open fields... well, more like a great distance of flat dirt. Why would I ride so close to the edge?
Is the path I have chosen so treacherous?
My life doesn't seem treacherous- it seems the opposite- safe and private- inconsequential.
But the path was not secluded or sheltered... it was wide open, public, and exposed even though there was no one to see it. I was vulnerable; unprotected; no one to reach out to for help. Perhaps a dangerous path although...

you know... I did not fall.