lame dream

I dreamt last night that my friend flicked a cigarette butt on some dry grass and it burst into flame, I ran for a bucket of water & on my way back I got lost and couldn't get back to the fire, men kept stopping me & harassing me and I awoke with this terrible pressing urgency eating away at my heart.

The camera

This dream was very strange.  I was rushing through my grandmother's house and looking to use the shower before leaving to teach my bellydance class.  The rooms were all being destroyed by my uncles, aunts, and cousins- they were ripping off the wallpaper, tearing up the carpets, unscrewing closet doors... chaos... I trying so very hard not to show my outrage and just smile and move on.
Then I went into her bedroom: it was completely re-done.  Everything new- but not at all as a grandmother's bedroom "should" be.  It was a huge room open to the sky, made from these rough cut cement blocks that looked like they were sealed in some white iridescent sealer.  Very modern, minimalist, and rail-less stairs in two directions leading up to a bathroom, crossing eachother, playing a trick on the eyes of being wavy.  I turned around and around and thought- "this is not a bedroom, this looks like a prison".  I could not deny it was beautiful but not for what it was supposed to be.  I was disturbed.  For some reason I felt the need to take a photo of it on my camera phone.  But when I took the photo and looked at how it turned out- there was this beautiful Tabora-esque vista of the coastline on my phone.  "what?!"
I looked up to see where that view was, that I didn't see it when I looked through the view finder.
I couldn't see it- just a gray misty blank page of a sky beyond the cement block walls.
I tried again to take a photo of what I was seeing.
Again, on my phone there was the most gorgeous pink and orange pastel sunset, surreal and serene.
I could not see what the phone saw with my naked eyes.  
"The flash must be cutting through the mist and capturing what is behind it somehow" I figured
But then I had to rush off to class without a shower because I wasted too much time and would be late- Scarlet Johansen was my student and I didn't want to keep her waiting. (???? yeah, I know, right?)


It was like I couldn't see the beauty right in front of me- because I was so upset that it wasn't the way I wanted it, that it had changed from what I thought it should be, I couldn't appreciate how breathtaking the view truly was- I was completely blind to reality.  *sigh* What a lesson.


You know in that movie Inception with Leonardo DiCaprio how just one small idea changes everything and completely drives his wife's life.  I feel like I keep waiting for that one small idea- that idea that is going to change everything and make me live my life with focus & drive & motivate me to "make it Happen".  I don't why or when or how I think this will happen but I keep feeling like something out there will make all the difference and once I unlock what that is- it will all make perfect sense and I won't be able to NOT live in accordance to that revelation.  I know this is kind of vague- but it IS vague- it is this feeling I have.

The Realtor & the Arcade

I had a dream that my friend Deyl was a realtor trying to sell me a "house" that was an arcade machine, when we punched through the coin panel it opened up into this huge dance space... the dance floor had a giant tree etched into the wood- it was really beautiful.  And even though the etching was a line drawing I reached down and picked big pink peonies from it's branches that were real flowers in my hands.  I went into the Vernada-esque living room filled to the gills with people and gave another woman one of my peonies because it was her birthday too- on the same day as mine.
Which isn't common- many people share my birthday- even a woman named Stephanie Bolton- NO JOKE!  Can you believe that someone with the same name, same spelling, as me shares my birthday as well?  That is pretty remarkable.

The Chocolate Dream

In this dream I go to a cold area of the island, Waimea, and the biting cold forces me into a warm little chocolate store. There are tons of beautiful, decadent, creative chocolate goodies. I start trying them. Dark chocolate, white chocolate, coffee chocolate, truffles, molded chocolates, chili pepper, raspberry, so many varieties and shapes and styles- the strangest part is this.... even though I am totally gorging on all these delicious rich tasty chocolates... I don't get at all sick.

I get to enjoy them without any pain.

It might have something to do with my current painting project. Making these portraits of dancers is like splurging on candy for me- so delightful- such a treat.... but how often are we allowed to enjoy things so much with no consequences? Aren't there usually drawbacks? Compromises that have to be made in order to deserve our sweets?

Maybe it is just the position of the moon that inspired that dream, hehe. Who knows?

But it was a very SWEET dream.

I had a dream that I have had before

I am sitting on the edge of bed and I notice my back is peeling. As I brush away some of the flaking skin with my hand I look over my shoulder and see in the reflection of the mirror that on my back, beneath the peeling skin, is a fresco being revealed.

Salmon coral

I had a dream that I was opening up my paints & every block of watercolor pigment was a salmon coral color... I got frantic and opened my acrylic tubes... no matter color was on the outside of the tube only salmon coral poured out.
the colored pencils, the pens, the oils... everything.
I only had one color to work with in any medium.

What a nightmare.

creepy Djinn!

I have been reading an interesting book that combines lots of my interests

nonfiction, travel, religion, bellydancing, & character sketches

It is an excellent book about a woman who is living in 5 different Islamic countries for 40 days in each place to try and understand their culture & religion and it is really interesting...

But last night I read something in there, it was just what one man in Egypt said about the Djinn and it gave me a creepy nightmare.

he said that a woman was looking after him after he fainted and that her eyes opened, instead of the lids splitting on a horizontal plane- they split on a vertical plane and she said to "Stay away from us." and he knew he had pierced into the spiritual world of the Djinn.

(which are basically like the Arabic version of angels- some are good and some are bad).

Well the image in my dream was of this heavily garbed woman many layers of fabric and when she opened her eyes not only did they open the wrong way but they were completely black as well.

I can't believe such a non-scary book could give me such a creepy nightmare. spooky!

I guess you have to be careful what you read before bed.